1 in 8

First things first. It’s been way too long since I posted on the blog. Seriously, last post was way back in October. *hangs head in shame*

Honestly, I probably have about 20 posts that I started and could never bring myself to finish. My life has literally been turned upside down. Emotional wall, slight depression, loss & grief; you name it – I’ve probably experienced it over these past few months. Let me tell you, the struggle of life is REAL! But that’s what this blog is all about. Its about being real and being transparent. So, here I am. Practicing what I preach. Living my truth and setting my soul free.

With that being said – I’m coming out the closet. Pause. Let me explain. 

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week and it’s time to come out of the closet. This is something that I’ve struggled with discussing “in public” for quite awhile…but this is my reality (for the time being) and I choose to OWN IT!

The theme for NIAW week this year is #StartAsking. I hate and love this theme at the same time. Infertility has been one of those things in my life where I never felt like I could talk to anyone outside of my hubby because most people just don’t get it. And honestly, I can’t say that I blame them. Seriously, kids are E V E R Y W H E R E! You can’t step out your house without being ran over by a bike or hustled on the street by a couple of Girl Scouts wanting you to buy a box of Thin Mints, 2 boxes of Samoas and a couple boxes of those Shortbreads.

#StartAsking means that I have to actually Start Talking and be ready to bring awareness to a disease that affects 1 in 8 couples. Yeah, you heard me right. 1 in 8 is actually a lot of people. 7.6 million Americans in fact. Think about it – that means there’s someone in your circle right now struggling with infertility who could also use your support and encouragement.

#StartAsking means that I have to release the shame and become comfortable (once again) with the uncomfortable. The fact is that my body fails to do the one thing that its supposed to do as a woman and that alone causes shame. Shame is such a dirty word. Shame prevents us from living authentic, courageous lives. Shame says you’re not worthy and encourages you to accept less than what you deserve. Shame is the land where dreams go to die! At some point, we all have dealt with some form of shame and have chosen to remain quiet when we should have spoken out. Well, allow me to be the voice of reason for you today and encourage you to embrace what has caused you shame. Speak out. Tell your story and set someone free!

There’s no way I could cover ever question about infertility in this one post but I felt it was necessary to get a few preliminary questions and debunk a few myths that I’ve heard over the years.

What is Infertility?  Infertility means not being able to get pregnant after one year of trying (or six months if a woman is 35 or older). Women who can get pregnant but are unable to stay pregnant may also be infertile.

Why can’t you just relax and let it happen? Infertility is a disease or condition of the reproductive system. While relaxing may help you with your overall quality of life, the stress and deep emotions you feel are the result of infertility, not the cause of it.

Doesn’t adoption lead to pregnancy OR Why don’t you just forget it and adopt? After all, there are so many babies out there who need homes!  This is one of the most painful myths for couples to hear. First it suggests that adoption is only a means to an end, not an happy and successful end in itself. Second, it is simply not true. Studies reveal that the rate for achieving pregnancy after adopting is the same as for those who do not adopt. For many, adoption is a happy resolution to infertility. However, most people explore medical treatment for infertility prior to considering adoption. In addition, traditional adoption options have changed, and adoption can be more costly and time-consuming than expected.

Uhhh…do you know what your doing?  Infertility is a medical condition, not a sexual disorder. LOL – I can’t help but laugh at this one.

You sound pissed off – maybe I shouldn’t say anything at all.  That could not be further from the truth. I am willing to bet that most people would be willing to talk about infertility if someone asked them. Sometimes, just a word of encouragement or a big hug to acknowledge the journey is enough to turn a day of appointments, shots & surgeries into the best day ever!

Is infertility covered by your insurance?  Currently only 15 states require insurance coverage for infertility treatment, and laws vary widely. Let me tread lightly here…but you would be amazed at what “ailments” are covered by insurance…infertility treatment is not an elective procedure you do on your own time – its the necessary treatment of a disease. People can spend upwards of $10,000 – $20,000 just on one cycle alone. I digress.

Honestly, there’s no way that I can cover this topic in just one post but its a start. Feel free to ask a question if you have one in the comments or share your story if you’d like. To learn more, check out RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. 

My hope is that this inspires you to live your truth and to encourage those around you to do the same!